Cancer Treatment Waiting Room

Wednesday I went to visit my in-laws, my sister in-law who is surviving her battler with Breast Cancer asks me to accompany her to her Radiation Therapy treatment. Naturally I do not want to go, I had just arrived for a visit, but I go reluctantly to show her my support. On the ride over to the hospital I choose to change my attitude and make the most of my trip. I want to only give off positive, strong, encouraging, inspirational energy. After all I am going to be amongst so sick people and want to give them as much strength as I can to help. We arrive and the new CANCER TREATMENT FACILITY is beautiful on the outside, the atrium is very uplifting and inviting BUT then we start the check in process. OK people I am pissed here.
My sister - in - law takes out this credit card looking device swipes it under a scanner, walks through a heavy door, down a dark hallway witch by the way has a nice design at the end of the hall but we don't get that far about midway down this long dark hallway we bang a right. We head down this narrower hallway which is even darker and emerge into what she called the waiting room. Oh My Gosh I thought she was kidding. We walk past a kitchenette area with a coffee machine; this area was big enough for one person meaning if you needed to get by your were screwed, we bang a left into another hallway with two doors that opens into a 4X6 area with three lockers and 4 seats. The room is dark and the color of the walls is sedative and depressing.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME blurts out of my mouth rather loudly. THIS PLACE IS DEPRESSING follows. OK so I am now official disturbed. These people are fighting a deadly disease and the facility preaches positive attitude and the whole love life don't give up attitude. REALLY ARE YOU KIDDING ME, this waiting room is not uplifting and there are no signs of life, no plants, no sun shine, no pictures NOTHING! So I make the most of it given I do not want to leave any negative imprints here.
My sister-in-law goes in and gets inter her hospital attire, you know the paper thing piece of cloth that shows your hiney. She sits down with me and we joke for a few minute. Then this voice comes in from the hall "Sister-in-law your up it says and off she goes leaving me in the waiting room in an uproar. So lets recap you come in and scan your ID card, walk through the heavy door, halfway down a dark hallway, bang a right into another dark hallway walk by a kitchenette made for a child and bang a left into the dressing room hall into a dark depressing waiting room that is smaller than a closet to sit and wait for your "number" to be called. I felt like I was at the registry; 209 is next please be alert for the next available radiation machine...209 please enter machine 3B for your treatment, thank you have a nice day.
UGH OK so the atmosphere sucked and the waiting area sucked more. However the best part off the entire experience came when I started talking to the survivors, holy crap! what a humbling experience. I was trying to make sure that I was not giving off any negativity as I mostly joked about the dreary room long dark halls, and inadequate waiting room, but these survivors...I was not ready for this interaction. They were upbeat and joking right along with me, they were telling me there experiences and their strength and will to survive were incredibly. Even the negative one the one who wanted to die couldn't even bring these survivors down. I always joke with my sister-in-law about getting perky girls as a side effect of her cancer so I chose to joke around with this women about it and she was hysterical, she so played into the joke and we just had fun with it. I was actually having so much fun in the waiting room with all the beautiful women I forgot I was in a hospital and amongst women fighting for there lives. It was AWESOME. The best part was the following day when the nurses asked my sister-in-law where I was and if I was coming back because my carefree attitude was very uplifting. I am so humbled and grateful that I listened to my Spirit Guide and entered that treatment center, as I now know I was able to bring a bit of joy to a place where so many beautiful people fight for there lives everyday.
I have personally provoked my son to make me one of his paintings to place in this dreary waiting room and I have asked a friends son to paint a picture for the room. I want to give physical life to this room as it represents the LIFE these beautiful women give off as they fight to survive another day.
I am humbled and grateful for my experience and honored to have met so many strong women in a very short period of time. I have forever been changed by them.

Sudden Spirit Impact

OK I was sitting and instant messaging on the computer a wicked strong heartburn came over me so i ate some tums. Then a sudden feeling of vomiting. Now i feel shaky and old. My posture has taken the form of an elderly person hunched over from many years of life. I am shaking just as an elderly person does when their body starts to fade. I received an image of a pale very thin man however not aged. The man had no hair and appeared to me as a Hollywood white faced dead person. although I do not think this person is dead I think that this was just an image to distract me. OK my upper stomach area feels like I am holding a very heavy weight although the rest of my body feels nothing. Interesting?????

Lady Hawk

One day when I finally accepted the gifts i had been given I asked for a sign that I was not crazy; I asked that my animal totem show it's self in the road. I asked that it appear to me, stay in the road, and be very promenade so I did not miss it. I needed it to be obvious.
For days I watched the road diligently and nothing. Then one day I was cleaning my house and my daughter said mom come here you have to see this Hawk. I looked out my front window and low and behold their she was; the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. She allowed me to get close to her and photograph her, them gracefully looked at me and flew away.
I was in such awe of this amazing creature it never dawned on my until she flew away that SHE was the answer from the Spirits. HAWK is my totem guide.